The God Damn Super Bowl

Editor's note: I am completely indifferent to the Super Bowl. Fuck the Steelers. Fuck the Cardinals. I could give half a shit whether or not Kurt Warner wins to make a nice story. I could give even less of a shit whether the Steelers win more Super Bowls than any team. Ugh. Way to fall down on your face, Kevin Curtis. Seriously, nice work.

I don't know about Aaron, but I'm about as inversely interested in the Super Bowl as I was both of the conference championship games. Nevertheless, after getting smacked around in the first 3 games of the wild card round, 7 in a row on the correct side of things isn't too shabby. 8-3 for the playoffs would be nice, whether I end up watching the Super Bowl or not, or at least have it on in the background while I continue to try and catch up on Battlestar Gallactica on Hulu.... these are sad times. Anywho, about that game....

Arizona Cardinals vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (-7)

Some sites have the line listed at 7.5 or 8, but it doesn't really matter. We all should have known the moment that Tom Brady tore his knee minutes into the season that this was bound to be a strange one. I mean, C'mon, the Pats still won 11 games with a rookie QB and a slow, plodding, aging defense. I don't think there's much doubt that if Brady had remained healthy this season, the Pats at least win 12 and make the playoffs, and I wouldn't be surprised to see them playing in this game. Point is, after Brady went down, the door opened for all 31 NFL teams to take advantage of an opportunity they might not see again for a long time. Teams like the Titans, Ravens, Vikings, Panthers, Cardinals, Dolphins, and Falcons all jumped at the opportunity to make a splash, while some of the more talented and popular teams like the Packers, Cowboys, Patriots, Bears, Jets, Redskins, and Broncos greatly disappointed their fan base.

Despite all that, the Steelers survived, as they have proven apt to do for nearly all of their existence. With a win on Sunday, they'll become the only 6 time Super Bowl Champions (By the way, does anyone else find it hard to believe that in a league that stresses parity that 4 teams, those being Dallas, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, and Washington, account for nearly half of the 42 championships already decided) and make a strong case for the most successful sports franchise in American sports. It's certainly the most popular sport, so this claim might have some legitimacy to it. This team is well armed to do the job as well, with a QB who continues to make his biggest plays in the 4th quarter when his team needs it most (Unlike another QB on the other side of the state), and Troy Polamalu who I think is the best in the game because he combines Ed Reed's ball hawk skills with the ability to crack any player who lines up across from him.

It's not enough though, not even close. Not enough to beat THIS team of destiny, for that matter. Look at the 3 playoff games this team has played so far. They stuffed the Atlanta running game with ease, tore up their secondary, and even Edge has himself a nice game after sitting out for weeks and sulking. In the process they lose Boldin for the Panthers game, and things couldn't have looked bleaker for this team at that moment. On the road, on the East coast, without their second best offensive playmaker, against a team who hadn't lost at home. I thought they'd make a game of it, but they blew the Panthers out of their own stadium, rivaling Miami for quickest stadium exit in a home playoff game that I've seen in a long time. Finally, they hosted the Eagles, where they proved that they can not only handle a blitz, but they can handle adversity too after giving up an early lead, finishing the game strong by picking up some clutch 3rd and 4th downs and getting a touchdown and 2 point conversion when a field goal would have taken the lead just the same. This isn't the same mediocre offense that San Diego and Baltimore threw at Pittsburgh, this is an offensive juggernaught that can't be counted of any game based on solely on the playmaking abilities of their quarterback and wideouts. It's been a strange year, it only seems appropriate that it should have a strange ending.

Arizona 31, Pittsburgh 13

________________________________________________________________
As an added bonus, here's a list of the 32 NFL teams and the ones who have a realistic shot of winning the Super Bowl next season. Hopefully Aaron will throw in his two cents wherever he deems necessary.

AFC EAST

New England Patriots - Tom Brady will be back, defense is bound to get younger, Moss can still beat anyone deep. Absolute YES here. Agreed, if they draft well, revamp the defense and Laurence Maroney is healthy enough to contribute.....yikes.

New York Jets - If Favre comes back, they won't win the Super Bowl, but I suppose it could translate to a playoff spot. If he leaves, meh, doesn't really make a difference. NO Problem here is, they aren't good.

Buffalo Bills - Maybe if they ever move to Canada. NO I disagree with this one. Their defense is legit. Trent Edwards is a decent quarterback and they can run the ball a little. If they ever utilize Roscoe Parrish and Lee Evans the way they should they could be an interesting team. 2nd best in their division, at least.

Miami Dolphins - Very tough schedule next year is making it pretty clear that Parcells will be one and done. So will the Dolphins. NO

AFC NORTH

Pittsburgh Steelers - With this group of core players, they are always going to be a threat to win it all. YES They're going to win between 9 and 12 games for at least the next 5 years.

Cleveland Browns - I think Mangini got a bad rap in NY for little reason, and I think if Brady Quinn is given the ball immediatly it might light a spark under the rest of the offense. YES Sure, Derek Anderson, as it happens, wasn't the savior. Does enybody else choose their backup QB in Madden based on arm strength alone? Because that's how I came to know Derek Anderson before he broke out last year. In Madden, everything else about him sucked but he had a rocket. Turns out that's the case in real life as well.

Cincinatti Bengals - They actually appeared to be motivated down the stretch last year, and I suppose it could turn into a wild-card spot next year, but I doubt it. NO Remember Carson Palmer? What happened?

Baltimore Ravens - Look for Flacco to hit that sophomore slump now that teams have more information on him, and the defense was great this year but continues to get old and brittle at the most important positions. NO Disagree. Next year McGahee should be healthy and McClain and Rice won't see as much of the field. I still belive McGahee can be an every-down back. The defense has another great season in them. While Flacco sucked somethin' awful in the playoffs, I think he's going to improve next year. I say they make the playoffs.

AFC SOUTH

Jacksonville Jaguars - What a disappointment they were this year, espescially the run defense which used to be feared. They'll have their O-Line back after losing almost all of them to injury this year, but they still lack big play ability and despite being a team that focuses on the run, they don't tend to play well in bad weather. NO Matt Jones has reached Michael Vick territory in terms of "Great in Madden/kind of stinky in real life" guys. How many times does he have to burn me in fantasy for me to realize he's not that good? Or is it the coke thing? I can't figure this team out. What was so different between this season and last? Fred Taylor didn't like their chemistry. I'll go with that. I say they make it next year.

Tennessee Titans - If Collins comes back, then I'd say YES in a heartbeat, espescially if they can avoid playing at home in the playoffs since that seems to be their achilles heel. If Vince Young comes back, we'll be treated to some of the most comical performances by a QB since Tavaris Jackson got his job back. On a side note, how CHEATED should we feel that when the Titans met the Vikings this year, both Jackson and Young were on the bench. They could have sold that game on PPV if they both started and played the whole game and I would have gotten it just to see that atrocity in its entirety. Couldn't agree more. The difference between Tavaris and Young is that Vincanity can at least run around a bit. Tavaris doesn't run much. Remember when Young faced Lineart in the Rose Bowl? Boy, we were really treated to two of the future stars of the NFL duking it out that night.......

Indianapolis Colts - I think that this unit is starting to get a little bored, quite frankly. New coach will probably help matters, but one has to wonder if this team is ever going to get some bigger linebackers who can hold up against the run. If they don't I don't see it happening. NO They got hosed. They should have beaten the Chargers. Peyton has always had trouble with the 3-4 but as he ages he's gotten better. I think with that unit on offense, Marvin Harrison not in prison and Bob Sanders they've got a shot. Although, I will agree with the Colonel that teams like Indy always seem to have the same flaws year after year.

Houston Texans - They're improving, which is what people say about this team every team, but they're still a long ways off. NO I'll say they can win 10 games. Cause....why the hell not?

AFC WEST

Denver Broncos - Cutler is great, but the running game has disappeared in Denver. Whenever one guy gets hot, he goes down and they lose faith in their game plan. Plus, the defense continues to suck. NO I say yes. With a coach that actually cares about defense they should fix it at least to the point where it's serviceable. Their offense was never reall the problem. Injuries killed them this year more than anything.

Oakland Raiders - If the Chargers go on a decline, this could be YOUR surprise playoff team of 2009. Not a champion, but they might just win.... baby. NO JaMarcus really didn't have a TERRIBLE first season. Also, I'd like to see McFadden get a full season's worth of carries. Also, that defense isn't half-bad. I'll say yes. This is a non-binding thing.

Kansas City Chiefs - Tyler Thigpen reminds me of Jake Delhomme, that guy who only got to play due to injuries to other players, convinced enough people that he was good to land a starting job but will almost always fold when the pressure is on. NO Awful comparison. Thigpen can throw. Jake the Cajun douche has made a living under-throwing Steve Smith and then having that little wizard bail him out with an amazing catch. Thigpen might actually have some staying power. You never really know how he's gonna react next season. However, I wish to christ Hard knocks goes back to the Chiefs this season so we get to see Herm Edwards give his two cents on the matter. Still, they do suck. Agree with the no.

San Diego Chargers - Shaun Merriman proved how valuable he is to this team by not playing this year, as their defense was very inconsistent and allowed a lot of yards through the air. Assuming LT has one more good year left in the tank, Merriman is back and healthy, and Gates can actually stay healthy for a playoff game, this team is still one to be reckoned with if they get a few home playoff games. YES That LT fall-off happened FAST. Merriman is an absolute beast and will help their defense a ton next season. Even with the numbers, I'm not wild about Phillip Rivers. Also, did you know Darren Sproles is 5'6? That's very short. Phillip Simms taught me that.

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys - Aside from the fact they haven't won a playoff game since Bill Clinton was president, there's a lot of questions that need to be answered on this team. The most important one? Is Tony Romo a great QB, or is he so easily rattled that he can't be counted on in big games. Recent history points to the latter, and I don't think they'll have the guts to send TO packing. NO I have no idea if Tony Romo is good. I don't think anybody does. TO is finally starting to show his age a little and, uh.....Roy Williams? What the hell happened? They're a flawwed team, but I think their lack of success in the playoffs is more due to bad luck than anything else. I'll say yes.

Philadelphia Eagles - Realistically, you could answer YES to the Eagles every year since 2001 when they lost to Kurt Warner in the NFC championship.... the first time :( I'm tired of listening to people say "We need this... we need that...." The Eagles have all the parts. They have a great secondary, a boatload of pass rushers, a stifling run defense, a veteran QB who can move in the pocket, and playmaking RB that is the focal point of EVERY defense they play, a solid offensive line and WR's who all have the ability to make game changing plays. So what IS the problem??? Well, take a look at this.

Wins

38-3

15-6

40-26

27-14

26-7

48-20

30-10

44-6

20-14 (This being the Giants game where NY scored a TD with about 10 seconds left and nobody cared)

26-14

23-11

The Losses

37-41

20-24

17-23

31-36

7-36

3-10

25-32

And of course, the infamous 13-13 tie with the Bengals.

Record in games decided by 10 or more: 9-1

The rest of them: 2-6-1

Fact is, nobody rolls over people in the playoffs because the competition is just too good, so unless this team ever learns to win the close ones, they'll be a team that can do it, but probably won't. That was a very long winded way to say YES to their chances next year. I just threw up in my mouth. That's depressing as hell. I can't figure out the problem either. The fact that they keep getting there has to mean something. They're doing something right.

New York Giants - They play well on both sides of the line, and they have a solid running game. They'll be back, but they do need to address their WR position in some fashion. YES Eli was who we thought he was. They were a completely different team without Plax. Still, their running game is pretty fierce.

Washington Redskins - LOL. I love living in Redskin country, because they buy into every single crappy move their front office makes. This is a team that got so desperate to compete they hired Steve Spurrier and a geriatric Joe Gibbs and fell flat on their faces. Portis is getting old, Campbell can't win games by himself and they can't draft worth a ****. NO, and they never will as long as Dan Snyder owns the team. I feel bad for Redskins fans. Portis has wasted his prime. Campbell isn't even a terrible qb. The rest of 'em, eh....hard to say.

Finally, for anyone who thinks Andy Reid isn't a good coach, try on this stat. He's won 2 playoff games in the same season 3x, while the Redskins and Cowboys combined have a total of 2 playoff wins in his entire tenure, as well as 2 playoff wins over Tom Coughlin. In the end, they are all still Andy's personal whipping boys.

This is getting long, I'll finish the other 3 divisions tomorrow. This is fun and it gives me something to do when the kids are working on their standardized tests.

One last thing though, apparantly there is ANOTHER person who picks NFL spreads on some website called football http://www.allfootball247.com/. His name? The Colonel. The bright side is he is 4-6 compared to my 7-3, so I'm giving myself a promotion to Brigadier General... but Aaron can still call me Colonel.

Indeed I will. As always, Colonel.

Laziest Football Column Ever

It was my idea: Me and the Colonel talking about football over IM

5:16:51 PM Aaron Castellan: okay colonel
5:18:19 PM Aaron Castellan: the steelers/ravens game is probably going to be the more interesting game to watch. Couple of questions: are the steelers a really good offensive team? and will the ravens offense be as awful as they looked last week against the titans?
5:19:07 PM Chiefs87: first of all, the Steelers are a good offensive team, but only when willie parker is running fresh
5:19:29 PM Chiefs87: which he basically is at this point
5:19:39 PM Aaron Castellan: But, do we really know that?
5:20:13 PM Aaron Castellan: I mean he looked good last week but...thats one week. Westbrook looked great at the end of the season and sans the screen pass hasnt done dick in the playoffs
5:20:15 PM Chiefs87: and as far as the ravens offense, I'm figuring they are just trying to hold the ball as long as possible
5:20:20 PM Chiefs87: regardless of point production
5:20:52 PM Chiefs87: its a really hard game to pick
5:20:53 PM Aaron Castellan: I can't tell you how many times Dan Dierdorff said "For the Ravens, a PUNT is NOT necessarily a bad thing"
5:21:14 PM Chiefs87: the team winning twice definitely wins more often
5:21:21 PM Chiefs87: in history they are 11-5
5:21:29 PM Aaron Castellan: Oh, nice stats, sir.
5:21:29 PM Chiefs87: and the home team in that position is 9-2
5:21:36 PM Aaron Castellan: so what the shit
5:21:41 PM Aaron Castellan: who's winning?
5:21:47 PM Chiefs87: I got the Steelers
5:21:49 PM Aaron Castellan: will the ravens cover?
5:21:57 PM Chiefs87: well you mentioned the offense
5:22:11 PM Chiefs87: i'm trying to decide if they are BAD enough to turn a ball over at the end which would lead to points
5:22:20 PM Chiefs87: the ravens offense that is
5:22:53 PM Aaron Castellan: you think they'll get behind and flacco will have to throw the ball in the 2nd half?
5:22:54 PM Chiefs87: In my mind, this game is a 3 or 4 point game with 2 mins to go, steelers are winning, and it comes down to whether the ravens turn it over
5:23:19 PM Chiefs87: or if steelers are driving at the end and scores before they can just tun out the clock
5:23:27 PM Chiefs87: I think they're gonna do it
5:23:32 PM Chiefs87: i got the steelers by 10
5:23:36 PM Chiefs87: 20-10
5:23:41 PM Aaron Castellan: well, flacco's two big pass plays last week were awful throws that could have easily bee intercepted so that actually sounds reasonable
5:23:53 PM Aaron Castellan: That sounds fair
5:24:08 PM Chiefs87: there's only 2 things about ravens which scare me here
5:24:14 PM Aaron Castellan: ed reed
5:24:22 PM Chiefs87: actually, the first is ray lewis
5:24:37 PM Aaron Castellan: and the enigmatic willis mcgahee
5:24:44 PM Chiefs87: ray is one of those guys playing for what could possibly be his last championship shot
5:24:53 PM Chiefs87: much like warner and mcnabb
5:24:59 PM Chiefs87: the steelers dont really have a guy like that
5:25:08 PM Chiefs87: some dude who has been around forever and never won
5:25:10 PM Aaron Castellan: ward?
5:25:14 PM Aaron Castellan: well he won
5:25:22 PM Chiefs87: ward won it only 3 years ago
5:25:27 PM Aaron Castellan: lewis won it in 2000
5:25:44 PM Chiefs87: but this could be Lewis's last season or two, ward has at least 5 left
5:25:51 PM Aaron Castellan: really?
5:25:56 PM Aaron Castellan: you think ward has 5 years left?
5:26:11 PM Chiefs87: he's one of those vets like biggio who will be on that team forever
5:26:20 PM Chiefs87: that city loves him,
5:26:29 PM Aaron Castellan: he's not that great anymore
5:26:31 PM Chiefs87: they could hold onto him as a Blocking WR
5:26:47 PM Chiefs87: and make a big deal when he comes in that the steelers are running
5:26:58 PM Chiefs87: highlighting his blocks
5:26:59 PM Aaron Castellan: they like him in goal line situations too
5:27:07 PM Chiefs87: and then that one playaction they throw to him and the city erupts
5:27:16 PM Aaron Castellan: cause he's gritty, plucky, and toughy
5:27:25 PM Chiefs87: mile wide smile
5:27:34 PM Aaron Castellan: he's a true korean-american hero
5:27:38 PM Chiefs87: so thats one guy who scares me
5:27:40 PM Chiefs87: the other
5:27:52 PM Chiefs87: is John Harbaugh
5:28:00 PM Aaron Castellan: really?
5:28:00 PM Chiefs87: this family KNOWS football
5:28:05 PM Aaron Castellan: oh for chrissake
5:28:12 PM Chiefs87: he took a rookie QB to the playoffs
5:28:24 PM Chiefs87: he has that whole team playin their hearts out
5:28:40 PM Chiefs87: I bet him and Akers are like best friends
5:29:01 PM Chiefs87: i mean what a pluck by the ravens
5:29:20 PM Aaron Castellan: and one time in 1925 he beat up a polar bear, three oxen and joe paterno with a toothpick and his left hand
5:29:28 PM Chiefs87: but im not gonna let a coach and an aging LB scare me
5:29:44 PM Chiefs87: i'm still saying steelers 20 ravens 10
5:29:52 PM Aaron Castellan: his mythical status i liken to that of mangenius his first year
5:30:10 PM Aaron Castellan: The ravens defense is great and their offense is.....eh
5:30:11 PM Chiefs87: no cuz mangini is a belicheck dweeb
5:30:18 PM Chiefs87: harbaugh is a reid guy
5:30:24 PM Chiefs87: reid is a geniues
5:30:29 PM Aaron Castellan: not in style i mean in terms of them getting too much praise too quickly
5:30:30 PM Chiefs87: he sweats knowledge
5:30:42 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah im sure vikings fans agree with that
5:30:55 PM Chiefs87: he knew how to beat that team
5:30:56 PM Chiefs87: he knew
5:31:08 PM Chiefs87: so it sounds like
5:31:12 PM Chiefs87: were leading into the next game
5:31:18 PM Aaron Castellan: yes
5:31:26 PM Aaron Castellan: eagles/cards....
5:31:33 PM Chiefs87: ohhhh here we go
5:32:41 PM Aaron Castellan: This game...I mean....fuck this game. I can't see how the Eagles lose this. If they constantly give Warner time then they have a shot. But, under what conditions do you see the Cardinals winning this game or, put it another way, what do the eagles need to fuck up in order for that to happen?
5:33:01 PM Chiefs87: ok
5:33:03 PM Chiefs87: warner first
5:33:13 PM Aaron Castellan: go
5:33:14 PM Chiefs87: lets talk about this cat
5:33:21 PM Aaron Castellan: lay it on me
5:33:25 PM Chiefs87: you gotta read his bio
5:33:37 PM Chiefs87: he sat on the bench for 3 years in a Div. II school
5:33:39 PM Aaron Castellan: i hear he was a grocer
5:33:47 PM Chiefs87: played his senior year, gets married that same year
5:34:01 PM Chiefs87: he gets cut by andy reid in packers camp
5:34:18 PM Aaron Castellan: who sweats knowledge, by the by
5:34:25 PM Chiefs87: like, a month later, his mother and father in law are killed in a freak tornado in Arkansas
5:34:35 PM Chiefs87: how did this guy not commit suicide at this point
5:34:42 PM Aaron Castellan: two words
5:34:48 PM Aaron Castellan: you can probably guess them
5:34:53 PM Chiefs87: life couldnt have looked bleaker
5:35:01 PM Aaron Castellan: the lord, our savior....we all know him as JESUS CHRIST
5:35:14 PM Chiefs87: he goes to some Arena team, and eventually ends up on the rams NFL europe team
5:35:23 PM Chiefs87: he's brought in to back up the legendary Trent Green
5:35:42 PM Chiefs87: and ends up winning a super bowl, making another, and becoming a 2 time MVP of the NFL
5:35:52 PM Chiefs87: that is one hell of a meteoric rise
5:35:57 PM Chiefs87: can't get over it
5:36:10 PM Aaron Castellan: he's a great story
5:36:29 PM Chiefs87: I know, and the birds are facing him in his Hall of Fame defining season
5:36:35 PM Chiefs87: i think he should be in anyway
5:36:43 PM Aaron Castellan: and he's had yet another resurgence because matt leinart is a douchbag
5:36:47 PM Chiefs87: great stat on warner
5:36:58 PM Chiefs87: he had a qb rating in the 90's that one season in NY
5:37:10 PM Chiefs87: and they benched him and lost almost all their remaining games
5:37:20 PM Chiefs87: manning has never posted a Qb rating that high
5:37:31 PM Aaron Castellan: haha
5:37:35 PM Chiefs87: how did a team this stupid get blessed with a championship
5:37:45 PM Aaron Castellan: because football makes no sensa
5:37:47 PM Aaron Castellan: *sense
5:38:09 PM Chiefs87: but beyond warner's story, they gotta hit him comin through the middle
5:38:16 PM Aaron Castellan: yes
5:38:20 PM Chiefs87: if they come off the outside he nevers misses it
5:38:57 PM Chiefs87: As much as i like brian dawkins right now, would you want him in the open field against fitzgerald or bolden
5:39:04 PM Aaron Castellan: i was just gonna say
5:39:13 PM Chiefs87: thats a scary matchup
5:39:33 PM Aaron Castellan: dawkins is blitzing all the time essentially cause he's not very good in coverage anymore
5:39:49 PM Chiefs87: another guy who scares me is asante samuel
5:39:54 PM Chiefs87: he's been too perfect recently
5:39:56 PM Aaron Castellan: with that hip?
5:39:59 PM Aaron Castellan: oh
5:40:00 PM Aaron Castellan: well
5:40:01 PM Chiefs87: against poor passing teams
5:40:13 PM Aaron Castellan: he takes gambles but he usually picks his spots
5:40:18 PM Chiefs87: warner won't miss those 2 or 3 guys that were wide open in that giants games
5:40:25 PM Chiefs87: those were possible TD's
5:40:36 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah manning killed in that game
5:40:53 PM Chiefs87: it literally could have been like 28-3 at halftime
5:40:57 PM Chiefs87: if eli could hit one receiver
5:41:17 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah, thank god they don't have that kurt warner
5:41:28 PM Chiefs87: warner scares me
5:41:31 PM Chiefs87: so does Edge
5:41:39 PM Aaron Castellan: edge?
5:41:40 PM Aaron Castellan: come on
5:41:42 PM Chiefs87: Put yourself in the position of a Cards fan for a moment
5:41:45 PM Aaron Castellan: their running game is for show
5:41:53 PM Chiefs87: your about to watch the biggest game in franchise history
5:41:58 PM Chiefs87: and who's your starting tailback
5:42:04 PM Chiefs87: the 7th leading rusher of all time
5:42:09 PM Chiefs87: and he's got fresh legs
5:42:14 PM Aaron Castellan: fresh legs?
5:42:17 PM Chiefs87: thats a pretty nasty feeling for an eagles fan
5:42:25 PM Aaron Castellan: come on
5:42:38 PM Chiefs87: he didn't play for like 6 straight weeks in preparation for this
5:42:46 PM Chiefs87: atlanta never hit him card
5:43:10 PM Chiefs87: panthers stopped him from racking up a big game cuz they were up so much and the panthers were playing the run
5:43:21 PM Chiefs87: edge is fresh, and ready to cash a paycheck next year
5:43:26 PM Aaron Castellan: i disagree
5:43:26 PM Chiefs87: the paycheck part scares me even more
5:43:44 PM Chiefs87: that's two guys
5:43:49 PM Chiefs87: Larry Fitzgerald
5:44:05 PM Aaron Castellan: fitzgerald is going to be a monster regardless
5:44:11 PM Chiefs87: him I don't fear so much, because I think regardless of boldin's condition the eagles are gonna double him every play
5:44:18 PM Aaron Castellan: and boldin...is he playing?
5:44:31 PM Chiefs87: almost certainly
5:45:02 PM Aaron Castellan: hm...
5:45:23 PM Aaron Castellan: How do you feel about the game? Who's winning?
5:45:31 PM Chiefs87: well lets talk about the eagles first
5:45:36 PM Chiefs87: sorry i know i'm being long winded
5:45:40 PM Chiefs87: but i'm pumped for these games
5:45:42 PM Aaron Castellan: No, no that's good.
5:45:46 PM Aaron Castellan: I am too.
5:45:49 PM Chiefs87: ok
5:45:50 PM Chiefs87: eagles
5:46:13 PM Aaron Castellan: go
5:46:17 PM Chiefs87: first thing I love, is the pass rush potential here
5:46:23 PM Chiefs87: the cards oline is nameless
5:46:26 PM Chiefs87: nobody stands out
5:46:54 PM Chiefs87: none of their TE's are good blockers except Spach, and he's out for the game
5:47:10 PM Chiefs87: I think some of those blitzers are comin through free
5:47:18 PM Chiefs87: and they will be big, game changing plays
5:47:21 PM Chiefs87: Warner is a fumbler
5:47:39 PM Chiefs87: next thing I like about the Eagles
5:47:59 PM Chiefs87: I like that the Cards have had numerous games this year where they couldn't tackle for shit
5:48:37 PM Chiefs87: and were sending out playmakers like jackson, westbrook, curtis, buckhalter, even avant
5:48:48 PM Chiefs87: Great McNabb stat
5:48:53 PM Aaron Castellan: wait
5:48:56 PM Aaron Castellan: avant?
5:49:06 PM Chiefs87: avant is Mr. Clutch
5:49:11 PM Aaron Castellan: stop
5:49:17 PM Chiefs87: everyone thinks he's a jerk because he celebrates every time he catches it
5:49:20 PM Chiefs87: but the thing is
5:49:27 PM Chiefs87: every catch is a big one for a first down
5:49:32 PM Aaron Castellan: i don't think he's a jerk
5:49:37 PM Chiefs87: he's solid
5:49:45 PM Aaron Castellan: i just don't think anything about him is above average or "playmaker" like
5:49:51 PM Chiefs87: he can make a guy miss too, as he showed on 3rd and 20 last week
5:50:12 PM Chiefs87: he has great hands, really reliable over the middle, and he makes big catches
5:50:13 PM Aaron Castellan: that play had a lot to do with mcnabb buying time
5:50:27 PM Aaron Castellan: and coverage breaking down because they thought he was scrambling
5:50:29 PM Chiefs87: well thats what i was just gonna say about donovan
5:50:36 PM Chiefs87: since that game he was benched
5:50:43 PM Chiefs87: his qb rating on third down
5:50:52 PM Chiefs87: is 141.1
5:51:00 PM Chiefs87: that's SICK
5:51:43 PM Chiefs87: and if he can give himself time like he's been doing, he will CARVE these cards
5:52:43 PM Chiefs87: so the current line is 3.5 for the Eagles
5:52:45 PM Aaron Castellan: 141?
5:52:46 PM Aaron Castellan: really?
5:52:49 PM Aaron Castellan: that cant be right
5:52:52 PM Chiefs87: I know right
5:52:57 PM Chiefs87: it REALLY is
5:53:03 PM Chiefs87: he has no int's on 3rd down
5:53:32 PM Aaron Castellan: I'm of the belief that the benching had very little to do with his resurgence
5:53:41 PM Chiefs87: maybe one, i think it was actually 3rd and one when he threw that fate against the vikings to curtis which got picked
5:53:48 PM Chiefs87: fade
5:53:54 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah
5:53:56 PM Aaron Castellan: that was bad
5:54:06 PM Chiefs87: but think, he is still at 141
5:54:16 PM Aaron Castellan: even with the pick
5:54:17 PM Chiefs87: he's got 10TD's on this streak
5:54:22 PM Aaron Castellan: god
5:54:32 PM Chiefs87: that means at least 6 of those TD's were on third downs
5:54:38 PM Chiefs87: big, clutch, throws
5:55:17 PM Chiefs87: this one is gonna be a game for the ages aaron
5:55:44 PM Aaron Castellan: well
5:55:59 PM Aaron Castellan: I am sufficiently pumped
5:56:02 PM Aaron Castellan: who wins
5:56:04 PM Aaron Castellan: final score
5:56:06 PM Chiefs87: but I like the Eagles here, but not enough to take them laying points. I'm saying Cardinals cover, but Eagles win 23-21
5:56:21 PM Chiefs87: THREE big kicks from David Akers
5:56:33 PM Aaron Castellan: Who has been HUGE this playoffs
5:56:45 PM Chiefs87: dude, 19 in a row right?
5:56:58 PM Chiefs87: think of all those cities who have a kicker they want to crucify for missing a kick
5:57:06 PM Aaron Castellan: seriously....what happened?
5:57:11 PM Chiefs87: and akers has never been the reason the eagles ever lost a playoff game
5:57:15 PM Aaron Castellan: earlier this year, was he hurt or something?
5:57:24 PM Chiefs87: he musta been
5:58:18 PM Chiefs87: i'm saying Eagles are up early too, like to the tune of 13-0, but Cards come back to make it interesting but game is rarely ever in doubt
5:58:27 PM Aaron Castellan: Jesus
5:58:47 PM Aaron Castellan: I hate games like that where the defense is one play away from ruining my life
5:59:03 PM Chiefs87: we've just watched 2 of them
5:59:06 PM Chiefs87: and they both ended well
5:59:19 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah but i was hammered
5:59:21 PM Chiefs87: i'm saying aaron, they're gonna win, but the score is gonna make it look closer than it felt
5:59:33 PM Aaron Castellan: legitimately drunk at 1230 in the afternoon
5:59:38 PM Aaron Castellan: ugh
5:59:43 PM Aaron Castellan: i need to be drunk for this one too
5:59:46 PM Aaron Castellan: speaking of ruining people's life, do you listen to the bill simmons podcast
5:59:51 PM Chiefs87: YES
5:59:53 PM Chiefs87: how bout tha
5:59:58 PM Chiefs87: 0-4
6:00:14 PM Chiefs87: against the Colonel's 4-0 clean sweep
6:00:15 PM Aaron Castellan: dude was whining for a full hour this week
6:00:30 PM Chiefs87: saying that the was gonna start watching tennis and give up on football
6:00:36 PM Chiefs87: what was he rooting for
6:00:53 PM Chiefs87: ELI? the guy who cost his team that season last year
6:00:55 PM Aaron Castellan: like, usually he can complain in a somewhat entertaining manner but he couldn't even hide his petulant rage
6:00:59 PM Chiefs87: that's who it seems like he was rooting for
6:01:03 PM Chiefs87: legit pissed the eagles won
6:01:04 PM Aaron Castellan: haha yeah i think that's what killed him
6:01:26 PM Aaron Castellan: like "eli beat the amazing pats but not the horseshit eagles"
6:01:44 PM Chiefs87: i'm glad you mentioned horse shit
6:01:55 PM Chiefs87: because i have another angle i'd like to take this conversation
6:02:00 PM Aaron Castellan: oh god
6:02:13 PM Chiefs87: and it involves the cities in the playoffs, not just the teams
6:02:27 PM Aaron Castellan: the william penn curse?
6:02:31 PM Chiefs87: whevener championship games draw near, people start to think about the cities and the success attached to them in sports
6:02:41 PM Chiefs87: and my personal favorite
6:02:44 PM Chiefs87: and longest standing
6:02:54 PM Chiefs87: is the 100 year curse of the Chicago Cubs
6:03:06 PM Chiefs87: but not just cuz they blow it every year
6:03:13 PM Chiefs87: because of the actual curse attributed to this
6:03:29 PM Aaron Castellan: i thought it was a goat
6:03:37 PM Chiefs87: where some guy named Dave went to the world series game
6:03:50 PM Chiefs87: and he worked at a bar called the Tavern Goat
6:04:04 PM Chiefs87: he gets to the stadium, and the people around him start complaining about a smell
6:04:16 PM Chiefs87: and another fan actually accuses him of smelling like goat shit
6:04:35 PM Chiefs87: words are exchanged, and Dave is asked to leave the stadium
6:05:03 PM Chiefs87: as he's leaving, he turns and says "Dis team ain't neva gonna win anodda woyld series"
6:05:40 PM Chiefs87: Cubs fans actually have to wrap their heads around that every time they blow it
6:05:58 PM Aaron Castellan: well i live with a cubs fan so it gets funnier every time for me
6:06:14 PM Chiefs87: but more to the point, think of the cities left in this playoff
6:06:28 PM Chiefs87: which one's scare you, which ones are due?
6:06:35 PM Chiefs87: I know the one that really scares me
6:06:59 PM Aaron Castellan: pittsburgh
6:07:08 PM Chiefs87: Its Phoenix, which has had pro sports teams for a total of 88 seasons and only won one championship
6:07:19 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah and it was only 8 years ago
6:07:34 PM Chiefs87: still, thats a terrible ration
6:07:47 PM Chiefs87: ratio
6:07:56 PM Chiefs87: Pittsburgh is almost too good
6:08:10 PM Chiefs87: this would be their sixth super bowl
6:08:17 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah
6:08:17 PM Chiefs87: 6 out of 43 by one team
6:08:22 PM Chiefs87: that's pretty impressive
6:08:53 PM Aaron Castellan: it is when your put it like that
6:09:29 PM Chiefs87: Baltimore has been rather blessed
6:09:46 PM Chiefs87: they've won plenty for a city with only two teams
6:09:52 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah
6:09:54 PM Aaron Castellan: the old colts
6:10:00 PM Aaron Castellan: waaaah, the colts left....waahhhh
6:10:04 PM Chiefs87: plus that's gotta piss of cleveland fans even more that the ravens won that super bowl
6:10:10 PM Aaron Castellan: yup
6:10:17 PM Aaron Castellan: and the new browns suck somethin awful
6:10:20 PM Chiefs87: cuz cleveland hasnt won a championship since like 65
6:10:49 PM Chiefs87: maybe thats why nobody ever gave a shit about the philly drought
6:11:00 PM Chiefs87: compared to other cities were rather successful
6:11:05 PM Aaron Castellan: no
6:11:30 PM Aaron Castellan: the philadelphia a's won more championships than any philly franchise and they moved in the 50s (?)
6:11:51 PM Chiefs87: still, philly bball won like 5 and the flyers won 2
6:11:56 PM Chiefs87: eagles won nfl title 3x
6:11:59 PM Chiefs87: phillies have two
6:12:05 PM Chiefs87: lol think about seattle
6:12:18 PM Chiefs87: seahawks, mariners never won anything
6:12:28 PM Chiefs87: sonics were only team to ever just win one, and they just left town
6:12:34 PM Aaron Castellan: and the seahawks got screwed like 50 times in that one super bowl
6:12:43 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah plus it rains all the time
6:12:58 PM Chiefs87: did you read that almost 5000 word article on espn.com about how the steelers were on roids that year
6:13:14 PM Aaron Castellan: haha yeah
6:13:22 PM Aaron Castellan: but it's the nfl
6:13:28 PM Aaron Castellan: the whole league is on roids
6:13:33 PM Chiefs87: but back to bill simmons for a moment
6:13:40 PM Chiefs87: how much $ you think he lost this weekend
6:13:46 PM Chiefs87: like what's a guy like him betting
6:14:02 PM Aaron Castellan: it's gotta be 500-1000
6:14:04 PM Chiefs87: or cousin sal, sal sounded like he just went broke
6:14:05 PM Aaron Castellan: at least
6:14:09 PM Chiefs87: per game?
6:14:11 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah
6:14:15 PM Chiefs87: gawd
6:14:19 PM Chiefs87: if only
6:14:26 PM Aaron Castellan: a staff writer for kimmel makes pretty good money
6:14:42 PM Chiefs87: does he still do that?
6:14:48 PM Aaron Castellan: i meant cousin sal
6:14:53 PM Aaron Castellan: simmons doesnt i dont think
6:15:02 PM Aaron Castellan: but im sure espn compensates him fairly
6:15:13 PM Chiefs87: yeah
6:15:41 PM Chiefs87: I'm trouncing him in these playoffs, im eager to see his picks for this weekend
6:15:46 PM Aaron Castellan: haha
6:15:55 PM Chiefs87: i say he takes cardinals and steelers
6:15:57 PM Aaron Castellan: it's cause he keeps trying to have rules
6:16:03 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah
6:16:08 PM Aaron Castellan: that sounds right
6:16:17 PM Aaron Castellan: like he keeps adding to that manifesto
6:16:19 PM Chiefs87: i sent him an awesome suggestion for that rule book
6:16:28 PM Aaron Castellan: like everything contradicts everything else
6:16:30 PM Chiefs87: didn't say anything, oh well
6:16:39 PM Aaron Castellan: at this point why even pretend like there's a system
6:16:47 PM Chiefs87: this one's pretty good
6:16:55 PM Aaron Castellan: what is it
6:16:57 PM Chiefs87: and i cant believe i went against it in round one
6:17:02 PM Chiefs87: falcons vs. careds
6:17:05 PM Chiefs87: cards
6:17:23 PM Chiefs87: turner was starting in that game, and had well over 300 carries thsi year
6:17:30 PM Chiefs87: cards had a rested back in james
6:17:48 PM Chiefs87: in matchup like that dating back to 2002 the team with the workhorse is like 2-15
6:18:02 PM Aaron Castellan: if you're going where i think you're going with this it also applies to the colts shutting down larry johnson in round one a few years back
6:18:11 PM Aaron Castellan: in indy
6:18:11 PM Chiefs87: yup
6:18:20 PM Chiefs87: tiki barber and jamal lewis were also frequent offenders
6:18:30 PM Chiefs87: clinton portis
6:18:48 PM Chiefs87: i think shaun alexander may have been both of the wins in the playoffs that year they lost super bowl
6:19:09 PM Chiefs87: running back in the playoffs with the most rushing attemps?
6:19:33 PM Chiefs87: i havent looked this up yet but im guessing leron maclain
6:19:55 PM Aaron Castellan: that baffles me that he led the league in carries
6:20:07 PM Aaron Castellan: he averaged like 3 yards a carry
6:21:22 PM Chiefs87: it made me really confident for eagles vikings game
6:22:06 PM Chiefs87: if this super bowl turns out to be eagles steelers, if they could play that game in any venue what would you wish it to be
6:22:07 PM Aaron Castellan: well, aside from that one 3rd and short run that AD broke (Which is where like 80 percent of his huge runs come from) he didnt do anything
6:22:15 PM Aaron Castellan: oh thats easy
6:22:17 PM Aaron Castellan: beaver stadium
6:22:22 PM Aaron Castellan: would NEVER happen
6:22:31 PM Chiefs87: i'm willing to offer a different choice
6:22:32 PM Aaron Castellan: state college would be the center of the universe for two weeks
6:22:46 PM Chiefs87: Hershey, PA
6:22:51 PM Aaron Castellan: come on
6:22:51 PM Chiefs87: open up the park in the winter
6:23:08 PM Chiefs87: drunk fans gettin on roller coasters in 30 degree weather
6:23:35 PM Chiefs87: all the players going through chocolate world
6:23:52 PM Chiefs87: our economy would bust out of the funk from an amusement park
6:24:03 PM Aaron Castellan: no way
6:24:10 PM Chiefs87: PSU would be cool
6:24:15 PM Aaron Castellan: come on, the super bowl with 110,000 fans??
6:24:15 PM Chiefs87: but I'm saying Hershey has more flavor
6:24:21 PM Aaron Castellan: fuck you
6:24:35 PM Aaron Castellan: and your puns
6:24:50 PM Aaron Castellan: SERIOUSLY BRAH
6:25:06 PM Chiefs87: its good enough for the HS championship
6:25:20 PM Aaron Castellan: which is pretty much the same as the Super Bowl
6:25:26 PM Chiefs87: they've always said, HS is the purest, college has the most tradition, and the pros play the fastest in the world
6:25:35 PM Aaron Castellan: i agree with that
6:25:46 PM Chiefs87: its very perceptive
6:26:22 PM Chiefs87: so what are your spread picks
6:27:04 PM Aaron Castellan: I like Steelers and Eagles
6:27:11 PM Aaron Castellan: I'm sayin they both win and cover
6:27:24 PM Chiefs87: if you had to pick one team to win a blowout this week
6:27:25 PM Chiefs87: who is it
6:27:32 PM Chiefs87: by more than 2 TD's
6:27:39 PM Aaron Castellan: Cardinals
6:27:46 PM Aaron Castellan: which is wny I am horrified
6:27:59 PM Aaron Castellan: pittsburgh and baltimore's defense is too good
6:28:05 PM Chiefs87: do you prefer the eagles playing first on sunday
6:28:19 PM Aaron Castellan: no
6:28:23 PM Aaron Castellan: i do not
6:28:24 PM Chiefs87: im torn on this one
6:28:27 PM Aaron Castellan: why?
6:28:34 PM Chiefs87: see if the eagles lose, no way i wanna watch the other game
6:28:38 PM Chiefs87: too depressing
6:28:57 PM Chiefs87: i'll probably just got sit in the shower for about 1 hour
6:29:06 PM Chiefs87: but if the eagles play first
6:29:13 PM Chiefs87: wait
6:29:18 PM Chiefs87: if they win
6:29:25 PM Chiefs87: you get to watch that ravens game
6:29:32 PM Chiefs87: like were all actually some sort of scout
6:29:37 PM Chiefs87: looking for weakenesses
6:29:41 PM Chiefs87: its so fun that way
6:29:49 PM Chiefs87: but if ravens played first
6:29:59 PM Chiefs87: every play would just make you think "That's a scary team"
6:30:04 PM Aaron Castellan: HA
6:30:08 PM Aaron Castellan: the ravens do not scare me
6:30:22 PM Chiefs87: ravens might be the modern prometheus
6:30:34 PM Aaron Castellan: explain
6:30:44 PM Chiefs87: that's the subtitle for frankenstein
6:30:47 PM Chiefs87: in whipping the eagles
6:30:55 PM Aaron Castellan: nah
6:30:56 PM Chiefs87: they created a monster from a lifeless corpse
6:31:04 PM Aaron Castellan: nah
6:31:12 PM Chiefs87: Modern... Prometheus
6:31:40 PM Aaron Castellan: nah
6:31:42 PM Aaron Castellan: not gonna happen
6:31:45 PM Chiefs87: whats even better is that in that myth
6:31:58 PM Chiefs87: prometheus gets his liver ripped out by a bird every day
6:32:10 PM Chiefs87: much like an EAGLE would do
6:32:51 PM Aaron Castellan: This is more of a philosophical thing for me because I don't think the Ravens could score against a big 12 defense
6:33:09 PM Chiefs87: there's a reason mcclain has all those carries
6:33:14 PM Chiefs87: he moves sticks in the second half
6:33:18 PM Chiefs87: he wears em down
6:33:22 PM Aaron Castellan: no...no he doesnt
6:33:38 PM Chiefs87: he ran it like 13 straight plays against miami
6:33:46 PM Chiefs87: on the drive to seal the game
6:34:41 PM Aaron Castellan: nah
6:34:43 PM Aaron Castellan: not buyin it
6:35:10 PM Chiefs87: which team on sunday has most penalties against
6:35:44 PM Aaron Castellan: you mean who commits the most?
6:35:50 PM Chiefs87: yeah
6:36:06 PM Chiefs87: its not john harbaugh's team
6:36:18 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah he's a strict disciplinarian
6:36:24 PM Chiefs87: and its not andy reid's
6:36:34 PM Aaron Castellan: im saying it's the steelers
6:36:39 PM Chiefs87: i say it's the cardinals
6:36:44 PM Chiefs87: lots of holding penalties
6:37:02 PM Aaron Castellan: nah
6:37:13 PM Aaron Castellan: i mean i hope so but....
6:37:31 PM Chiefs87: lots of 2nd and 3rd and longs in that game for arizona
6:38:01 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah but that's cause they can't run
6:38:44 PM Chiefs87: did i ever tell you about deshaun jackson
6:38:58 PM Chiefs87: and how he answers every question by starting with "Awwww man...."
6:39:48 PM Aaron Castellan: i haven't heard that
6:40:05 PM Chiefs87: download any video on eagles.com, its pretty consistent
6:40:18 PM Aaron Castellan: they should put him on that show "are you smarter than a 5th grader?"
6:40:28 PM Aaron Castellan: change it to "are you dumber than desean jackson?"
6:40:49 PM Chiefs87: figures, the one rookie WR to finally make an impact in philly and its this ridiculously dumb thug
6:41:04 PM Aaron Castellan: yup
6:41:07 PM Aaron Castellan: but hes a freak
6:41:10 PM Aaron Castellan: a poormans steve smith
6:41:28 PM Aaron Castellan: rich man's santana moss
6:41:48 PM Chiefs87: i dunno santana moss crushed him in fantasy
6:42:03 PM Aaron Castellan: yeah but mcnabb spreads the ball all over
6:42:10 PM Aaron Castellan: the skins had moss and cooley
6:43:24 PM Chiefs87: watching them fall apart
6:43:26 PM Chiefs87: never gets old
6:43:33 PM Chiefs87: they're working on a nice streak too
6:43:42 PM Chiefs87: 4 team city, no championships since 92
6:43:45 PM Aaron Castellan: wow
6:45:08 PM Aaron Castellan: is jason campbell that bad?
6:45:12 PM Aaron Castellan: cambell?
6:46:06 PM Chiefs87: he's not good
6:46:21 PM Aaron Castellan: he had that thing where he didn't throw an interception
6:46:47 PM Aaron Castellan: and was like 13-20 with no tds and no picks and 150 yards every single week
6:46:59 PM Chiefs87: yeah they suck it
6:48:51 PM Aaron Castellan: agreed
6:49:00 PM Aaron Castellan: well colonel this has been quite a larf
6:49:09 PM Chiefs87: i've enjoyed myself
6:49:10 PM Aaron Castellan: but i have to hit the gym then play horribly in softball
6:49:14 PM Aaron Castellan: as have i
6:49:22 PM Chiefs87: its almost bed time here
6:49:24 PM Aaron Castellan: let's close this thing out and ill edit and post it
6:49:30 PM Aaron Castellan: indeed
6:49:43 PM Chiefs87: got an inservice day tomorrow
6:49:49 PM Aaron Castellan: well, as always, im sure well be in touch through out the weekend
6:49:50 PM Chiefs87: which means lots of batman cartoons and popcorn

The Guy Who Is Never Right – Round 2

Last week my esteemed colleague The Colonel didn't do well predicting anything. He even tried to tell me the National Championship game last night would be a shoot-out. PULH-EEZ! Anyways, these are his words. I vouch for none of them.

________________________________________________________

Ugh, that wild card round turned out to be very ugly for me. Every game was at least interesting, but I can't stop kicking myself for that Dolphins pick. I figured at least one home team was going to win, and since I was dead set on the Colts I assumed it would be the Dolphins or the Cardinals. That's the kind of mentality that leads to 1-3 weeks, and if Westbrook gets tackled anywhere during the run on the screen pass the Eagles likely wouldn't have covered either, so at least I got that to go my way. On to the picks…

Lines as of Thursday at 3PM

Baltimore Ravens at Tennessee Titans (-3)

I blame one team for last week's debacle between the Ravens and the Dolphins…. The New York Jets. While the Eagles were busy kicking the life out of the Cowboys in week 17, they kept showing game breaks of Pennington hucking 40 yard touchdown bombs to Ted Ginn, and this somehow convinced me they could do the same thing against the Ravens. Whoops.

This week sort of pits the Ravens against a similar team, only with better defense and a more dangerous runner in Chris Johnson. It's really depressing that the Titans don't get this guy more involved in the passing game, but I'm guessing as a rookie his blocking skills are only so-so which would explain why he's rarely in on passing down. Meanwhile, I don't expect Lendale White to do anything other than run for short gains making him basically a non-factor. Running backs aside, what really troubles me is that most people seem to think Kerry Collins has this ageless arm and he can still make all the deep throws. Wasn't Tennessee losing 10-3 going into the 4^th quarter the last time these two teams played? And if I remember correctly, the Titans needed two drive saving penalty calls to keep their offense on the field in order to win the game on the final drive. This Ravens defense is juiced, and I wouldn't want to be the guy betting the other way on this team. There's also my notion that the Ravens defense is not only a unit but an actual gang that rules the Baltimore underworld, and that just makes this team even scarier. One and done for the Titans. (Editor's note: This gang is run by Avon Barksdale and Stringer Bell. Ed Reed is Avon and Ray Lewis is Stringer. The slang heroin in the low rises, shoot witnesses and hate snitches like Kyle Boller, Brian BIllick and Wallace. Oh, and Chris Johnson is Omar.)

Baltimore Ravens - 24
Tennessee Titans - 10 (yes that's the same score of the game from 2000 when the Ravens went on to win the Super Bowl, but hey, history has a way of repeating itself)

Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers (-10)

This game just reeks of "Who the hell knows, but I sure wouldn't want to be betting 10 points either way." Let's think about this logically for a second. The Cardinals basically owned the Falcons last week, who most people expected to win, so the Cardinals face the SECOND best team in the NFC, and they are getting 10 points. Meanwhile, the Eagles offense meandered through that Minnesota game, broke one big play to ice it, and against the BEST team in the NFC, they are only getting 4 points. Something here simply does not make sense.

The Cardinals almost won in Carolina earlier this year, although there is still the whole deal about the West coast teams never winning when they go East. Sure, I don't think the Cardinals are going to win either, but 10 points for the Carolina Panthers???? This is a team who ALWAYS looks like a lock at home and more often than not leaves me shaking my head in despair. I mean, have you WATCHED the Panthers? If they get in a bind, the plan is literally to just go full protection on Delhomme and let him throw a heave to Steve Smith regardless of how many people are in the general area. The Cardinals averaged more than 1 pick per game this year, and if Carolina's strategy comes down to this, I think the Cardinals are gonna snag a few. Will they do enough to win? Probably not. Enough to cover this ridiculous spread? I think so.

Arizona Cardinals - 27
Carolina Panthers - 30

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants (-4)

This line opened at around 5 or 5.5, which means everyone is laying it on heavy for the Eagles. As an avid Eagles fan all I can say is….. Shit. There has never been a season in which both #6 seeds won in the second round, and yet here we are, and despite the fact that the general public seems to think the Eagles are destined, I'd be hard pressed to argue with them.

Remember what I said about Andy Reid finally giving the ball to Buckhalter? Well, that was before I knew that in some depth chart anomaly, he's not only the best running back on the team right now, he's also the second best fullback, which is where he took almost all of his snaps against the Vikings because I'm assuming that Dan Klecko hurt himself. Klecko isn't listed on the injury report this week, so I'm praying to you once again Andy, GIVE HIM THE GODDAMN BALL!!!! I swear, if Eagles fans are forced to watch Westbrook hobble through 20 rushing attempts again averaging less than 2 yards a carry, the local media is going to lose their minds, regardless of whether they win or lose. I'm not saying Westbrook shouldn't be on the field, but it is obvious that he's more dangerous and USEFUL to the team as a pass catcher right now, but as long as he says he's healthy I'm sure that my dreams of Buckhalter splitting carries with him are just wishful thinking.

I'm currently trying to put myself in the mindset of a Giants fan. Other than Dominic Hixon, what possible big play threat do you actually have on this team? None that play offense, that's for sure. This game is going to go by fast, because I think the Giants are going to have to put together slow, plodding, excruciatingly painful drives for Eagles fans to watch, but most of them will end in field goals or maybe even a turnover. This team shouldn't scare the Eagles, they don't really have anyone worth putting multiple defenders on other than Brandon Jacobs who the Eagles will need to stuff the box to negate. This is the Eagles game to win, against a team who may not have a definite weakness, but at the same time, has nothing other than a power running game to offer as a threat. You're gonna hear the names Stewart Bradley, Akeem Jordan, Chris Clemons, Trent Cole, and Darren Howard ALL DAY LONG…. In the good way.

Philadelphia Eagles – 24
New York Giants – 16

San Diego Chargers at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6)

This game is going to be wet, messy, cold, and fun to watch. Well, unless you're Norv Turner. In his case, I'm still not sure he's actually watching. Sproles isn't going to be able to cut in nearly the same fashion that he did against the Colts, I'm betting Gates is on the sidelines or in the locker room for medical treatment by halftime, and Philip Rivers will throw at least three interceptions in this game. I think the Steelers will really punish the Chargers in the first half while San Diego is still trying to adjust to the weather, and that should be enough to more or less put this game out of reach. The last game of the weekend might be the least exciting in terms of score, but most fun in terms of watching the Chargers get their frozen brains beat in.

San Diego Chargers – 17
Pittsburgh Steelers - 31

I'm so proud of you, Tavaris.

This post comes from a state of mixed emotions. I'm extremely pleased with the Eagles advancing to the next round of the playoffs. I'm also extremely cheesed off that Pat Burrell signed with the Devil Rays for NOTHING while the Cubs inked Milton Bradley to the same deal the Phillies gave Raul Ibanez. This makes no sense because Milton Bradley not only is better, by a LOT, in every aspect of baseball playing but he's also seven years younger than Ibanez. Today, the Phillies looked like a bunch of retards for inking Ibanez to that deal. They also declined to offer Burrell aribtration so they get nothing for losing Burrell. God. Fucking. Damnit.

But this isn't about why I am as angry as I've ever been at the stupid, stupid, dummy, retard Phillies. This is about the Eagles. The Eagles and their glory. Also, Tavaris Jackson and his relationship with Troy Aikman.

I'm all for a young guy getting a nice pat on the back when he does something well. I'm all for looking the other way when a 5-year-old with thick glasses, a club foot, a speech impediment and horrible dyslexia drags his pivot foot in a game of hoops. It's what the kids need to build confidence. Especially because a club foot doesn't really go away and dyslexia is just God laughing his ass off whenever he looks in on you trying to read. To be clear, I'm all for extra encouragment. But the babying jerk-off that Tavaris Jackson received on Sunday from Buck and Aikman in the booth was a joke.

If you didn't watch any of Sunday's game and only had the soothing, nasilly jabbering of Joe Buck and the aging, "aw, shucks" wisdom of Troy Aikman you'd think that Tavaris Jackson was a great quarterback. Not just a great quarterback, a monumentally great quarterback. Take a look at this:

15 for 35
164 yards
0 TDs
1 INT (returned for a touchdown)

Is that a good game from a quarterback? No. Not really. Not at all. But, that didn't keep Aikman from pontificating on each and every completed pass Mister Jackson completed. With every completion he was really just "zoning in" and "gaining confidence" and "really trusting his reads". It was as though he wanted to just will Tavaris into a good quarterback. Jackson isn't that. He's not even an average quarterback at this point. He's just kind of stinky.

The triumphant return of The Guy Who Is Never Right

Last year I let my friend the Colonel pick football games. Due to popular demand (he asked me if he could do it) he's back once again. These are his words. I endorse all of them. Most of them. A few of them. I endorse about half of them.

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Big thanks for Aaron for allowing me to come back for the playoffs, as I thoroughly enjoy doing this. Lines are as of 3pm on Friday. For my own part, I’m putting $50 on every game, and I am GUARANTEEING a playoff record of at least 7-4. GUARANTEED. STONE COLD….. MORTAL…. LOCK.

Atlanta (-1.5) at Arizona
I have to admit, when I first saw this match up, I thought that the Cardinals were gonna pull a minor upset. Arizona, despite basically forfeiting games down the stretch, still had an impressive 6-2 record at home, and even in the years where they have sucked they’ve been a tough team to beat on the road. However, of their 8 wins this year, only one was against another playoff team in week 2 against Miami, and that was before Miami started playing well. On the other hand, while Atlanta was only 4-4 on the road, 2 of those wins came against playoff teams (Minnesota and San Diego), and if one break had gone their way in New Orleans they’d be 5-3 on the road and riding a 6 game winning streak into the playoffs. The Cardinals don’t really offer anything defensively to stop the Falcons, and even Ben Roethlesberger won a playoff game his rookie year and he didn’t play nearly as well as Matt Ryan did as a rookie this season. Finally, after seeing that Edgerrin James is already announcing he’s not coming back he doesn’t seem to be very interested in this game, leaving the Cardinatls with essentially no running game. Expect a big game from John Abraham getting to Warner and Michael Turner tearing up the Cards defense to the tune of over 150 yards on the ground.

Atlanta 31
Arizona 14

Indianapolis (-1.5) at San Diego
Guess how many teams the Chargers have beaten this year that are currently in the playoffs? Big, fat, ZERO. Hell, in two games against KC, they won by a combined 2 points and needed a miracle onside kick to beat them the second time. Tomlinson is hurting, Gates is almost guaranteed not to play, and there’s still the pesky issue of Norv Turner being in charge of well….. anything. Dungy and Manning have too much experience here, and while Indy doesn’t really pose any threat of a ground game this year, they still have way too many weapons for San Diego’s awful secondary to contain. I don’t expect a blowout, but I think that Indy is a fairly safe pick here.

Indy 27
San Diego 21

Baltimore (-3.5) at Miami
Two months ago I didn’t either one of these teams had that good of a chance of being here, and I certainly didn’t expect the Ravens to be the biggest favorite out of all the teams playing on wild card weekend. This game is by far the biggest mystery of the four, because Miami never turns the ball over, and Baltimore thrives on turnovers. I didn’t get to see the game when these two teams played a while ago, but from what I understand the Ravens pretty much destroyed every play out of the funky formations that Miami likes to run. I think the biggest difference maker in this game for the Dolphins is Joey Porter, who probably needs to have the game of his life to keep them competitive and force a few fumbles of his own, or at least record a few big sacks. Derrick Mason is the biggest receiving threat the Ravens have, and he only has one arm. It’s really been hysterical to watch him absolutely handle the Cowboys and Jaguars corners the past two weeks running as if he’s handicapped. The Miami corners won’t be so easily burned, and I think the Dolphins have what it takes here to put enough points on the board to send the Ravens home early.

Baltimore 13
Miami 14

Philadelphia (-3) at Minnesota
I’ll try and keep my bias aside for this one. The misconception coming into this game is that the Vikings sport the superior defense. With the exception of Rushing YPG, the Eagles are better in EVERY defensive category, and it’s not like the Eagles need to rush for 100+ to win a game. As long as they attempt to run, the Eagles are usually in pretty good shape, and I think Andy Reid has finally realized that Correll Buckhalter is a useful player in the offense, but I’ve been wrong about Andy before. On the receiving end, the Vikings are in the bottom 3rd in the league defending opposing TE’s, so between Brent Celek and LJ Smith (if he plays) one of them needs to produce. Kevin Curtis has also turned into a fairly reliable 3rd down guy, and they’ll need him to keep the chains moving and just let DeShaun Jackson handle the deep stuff. On the offensive side for the Vikings, aside from the obvious Adrian Peterson and the good offensive line, nobody else really should scare anybody. Bernard Berrian has had only one good game with Jackson at QB, and that was only because the Giants put in the reserves in the 4th quarter last week. Of the 6 games Jackson played in this year, I saw three of them, and to be honest it just seems like he kinda drops back, looks at one WR, and if he isn’t open he panics and either runs or just floats the ball somewhere and prays it hits the ground. Expect Jim Johnson to blitz nearly every time on 3rd down passing situations, while sort of backing off on first down in an effort to keep Peterson from breaking any long runs. One guy who DOES scare me is Chester Taylor, who tends to be the dump off man in passing situations and the guy had made plays in those situations all season long. In conclusion, both defenses are formidable, but if the Eagles keep their attack balanced, which I think they will, they should be protecting a lead late in the game and the Vikings will need to rely on Jackson to win the game, which he won’t.

Eagles 24
Vikings 16