Oh, my fastball? Nah, I won't really be needing that.

Brett Myers didn't throw very hard on Sunday. I think he'll be fine. When you're throwing mid 80's instead of low to mid 90's and you only give up four runs then I'm not going to start worrying just yet. Another reason I won't worry is because his problem wasn't velocity it had a lot more to do with the fact that he couldn't spot it inside the strike zone. Meh, I'll take a 5-2 road trip.

On an unrelated note the professional league of footballers held their annual draft this weekend and in true all-American fashion I got drunk during the daytime to celebrate the first couple rounds. Don't worry - other people kept detailed notations about who went where and my intoxicated state allowed my friends and I to ignore the people on the TV whose job it was to comment on every single pick in the draft. I'll choose to ignore the fact that the Redskins more or less drafted an entire new receiving core and a slow tight end from USC all within the second round because that makes me positively spittin' mad.

I choose instead to focus my attention on my beloved Eagles. They deemed the first round not worthy of their involvement (bunch of bourgeoisie doucheclowns, those first round types) so they gladly accepted two later picks and a future 1st round pick to stay out of the nonsense. So they started off their drafting with the 16th pick in the 2nd round and they took a filled a need nobody thought they had - defensive tackle.

Now, let's bare in mind that I don't have a problem with building up the line because Lord knows those guys get hurt. However, Trevor Laws of Notre Dame is just a nice pick. The Eagles got good seasons out of Mike Patterson and the Bunk last year and those guys look to form a solid interior for Jim Johnson next year. My question is wasn't there another need they could have addressed with their first pick in the draft? Turns out they did that with their next pick.

With the 18th pick of that same second round the birds took DeSean Jackson of Cal. Jackson is best know for falling down when he gets near opposing players. He'll do this from time to time, not on purpose, but because he weighted in at 169 pounds at the combine which is about as much as my roommate and he's four inches taller than Jackson and sells copiers for Ikon. Despite Jackson's downside of being undeniably small, he can run like the dickens (4.34 40 time) and will make an immediate impact on special teams. Last season and pretty much since Brian Mitchell left the team the Eagles return game has been - well - a colossal failure. Jackson should plug that hole nicely. And when I say nicely I mean he'll do a better job than the last guy the Eagles drafted to return stuff who was also an Olympic skier, Abercrombie model and real estate developer. I like the first two picks I must say - the second a bit more than the first. If Jackson is only a return guy I'm fine with that but if he can work his way into being a deep threat then this becomes an excellent pick. And if it feels like that's a vague generalization about something it's because when it comes to predicting how draft picks will pan out I am doing the same thing everybody else does - I'm fucking guessing.

In the 3rd round the Eagles dipped into the talent pool of the Southland conference to nap Bryan Smith of McNeese State. Smith is a guy who supposedly plays above his height/weight/40 time which are apparently the three most important things teams look at when drafting a player. Mel Kiper Jr's head almost exploded when he talked about this guy's "relentless motor". A relentless motor is his way of saying when the play starts this guy doesn't stop until the play is over. Now, stop me if I'm talking stupid but isn't that something most players, specifically lineman on both sides of the ball, would almost have to do by the time they get to college? Or even high school for that matter? What defensive end simply hears the whistle and just sort of stands around and waits to see if he feels like tackling the ball carrier running by him. Or does he start of with a relentless motor and then he stops in the middle of the play because he was distracted by - I don't know - a bumble bee or something? Is this a problem among professional athletes? "Yesterday, Jason Taylor was cut from the Dolphins due to a lack of motor. "I don't know what happened," said Taylor "my motor has always been relentless but these past few weeks there's just been so much other cool stuff going on I just sort of forget I was playing football sometimes and just stood around and soaked in the moment."" How many words can we come up with to describe a guy that really don't tell us anything? "Boy, I'll tell ya this guy's got a shitton of wackum......What's wackum? It's something you can't measure but goddamn he's got it. Haven't seen wackum like this since Dicky Fukerbritches in aught-six - single-handedly won us the Spanish-American War, he did. Had a few tackles for losses too. And he discovered modern doorknob." He plays hard? Great. Bryan Smith: a defensive end who plays hard and will not be flummoxed by a bumble bee. Fine - let's move on.

In the fourth round the birds grabbed Michael McGlynn and Quintin Demps. McGlynn could step in a guard right now but could possibly be a tackle if he does big thangs and Demps runs really fast but still projects as a reserve because at the end of the day he's just a safety who doesn't like tackling people. Whoops. I like the McGlynn pick because he can fill a bunch of back up roles until Winston Justice learns to read or something.

Four sixth round picks? You bet your ass. One guy has a torn ACL, another guy went to North Dakota State and another went to Wheaton who I'm not even sure has a football program. I'll be rooting for Andrew Studebaker of Wheaton College in Illinois to make the 2008 Eagles.

7th round? Oh nobody special just KING DUNLAP. King comes to Philly reppin' the dirty dirty by way of Auburn and is a big fella ( 6'8, 310). He got arrested last year and doesn't seem to pass block well even a little bit. Tip of the cap to you, King. You have the honor of trying to block the Hurricane of force that took Wheaton College by storm by the name of Andy Studebaker. I don't envy you. Here's a picture of the King (he's the one on the right).